Flash a pose, work the runway: Firecracker Headwear (dangerous or dangerously stylish?)

¿Que Pasa?

Why not make a fruit basket: The current seasonal fruit is cantaloupe, and I just cannot seem to get enough of it…sweet and juicy! As well, we have mandarinas (mandarins).

Blood hound: Yes, I now have a new skill that I will undoubtedly place on my resume. I am like a blood hound in the sense that I can now detect the faint smell of … (wait for it)… dead rat (gross, I know). It’s a musty sour odor that permeates through the air and wafts into my nostrils. I can even detect the time of death (no I can’t, that is an exaggeration). But this skill has its benefits, because it enables me to detect and therefore remove dead rats from my house ASAP. Yesterday, I did just that, and another one bites the dust.

Weather report: Cool and windy. I am having trouble housekeeping due to the wind, every time I sweep my house the dust just flies back into my house (into my eyes and face).

There’s a hole in my bucket: That’s right, my trusty bucket now has a hole, and I am too cheap to buy a new one. Water transfer has become a speed race, fill the bucket and quickly pour the water before it leaks out the bottom of the bucket. A new bucket is an investment that I currently cannot finance, don’t worry I am raising funds for a new bucket…hopefully next month I can buy one. The funny thing is a new bucket isn’t even that expensive, I am just that cheap.

The fiesta band...live singers that moved to the beat!

In my state of sleep deprivation it is difficult to even remember the events that occurred the previous 3 days. All I can say is: fiesta, plain and simple. Yes, this past weekend my town celebrated their patron saint in an all out extravaganza that included a Ferris wheel, live music, FOOD, carnival games, carnies, and all sorts of debauchery. Preparation for the fiesta started early last week, with the assembly of rides and food tents. By Friday, everything was setup and people were ready to let loose and party. The first night, I went to sit under a tent and simply people watch. The streets were crowed; the smell of carne asada drifted through the tent and created a smoky cloud that reminded me of the 4^th of July, and Colorado summers. People of all shapes and sizes were pushing their way through the throng of bodies, some with deliciously sweet candied apples in hand, others with flashing toys and laser beams pointed on the foreheads of innocent bystanders. The scene was far from quiet, as fireworks were being continuously shot off in the sky and music was blasting its way through 40 loud speakers. And then it happened…a tidal wave of children and adults were rushing in towards the tents where people were eating, conversing, and drinking. The screeching sound of their voices permeated through background noise and I heard “EL TORO, EL TORO.” What? I didn’t know my town did the running of the bulls, I thought to myself should I get up and move away from the ”danger zone”…all of the people around me seemed panic stricken, and I didn’t feel like being impaled, so I arose and attempted to look over the crowd (which wasn’t difficult as everyone is rather small in stature). And there in all its blazing glory was “el toro.” El toro, is a man with a box on his head, and sticking out of the box are fireworks (bottle rockets, sparklers, aka dangerous projectile objects). And this crazy man was lighting the fireworks (that are attached to his head) on fire. CRAZY CRAZY CRAZY. To boot, he is pointing the projectiles towards the kids, which made them run towards the tented area in the first place. Apparently, the crazy man with fireworks attached to his head is not allowed into the tented area, but I have to make a slight observation, would a man who willingly stapes fireworks onto his head consciously stay out of the tented area? I mean, come one, he has FIREWORKS on his head, is he going to even remember where he can and cannot enter. I think not, and therefore the fear in the children’s eyes was warranted, as they ran from the crazy man. Also, can this man see or hear, after having fireworks coming out of his head? Anyway, to my knowledge no one was injured, or impaled, but nevertheless, I kept my distance.

I am beginning to feel like a broken record lately, because over Christmas my little neighbor (who is 5 years old and as cute as a button) received a tricycle, which she rides past my house hours on end. Every time she passes by my house she says “Adios” and I respond “Adios.” This continues on and on, and I mean hours, I am hardly exaggerating. Adios, Adios, Adios, Adios, Adios, Adios. But I continue to humor her because she is just so darn cute. Of course, in turn I feel foolish for saying Adios 15 trillion times, but that is the price I pay for cuteness.

Sitting under the tent people watching...

Exciting news I have a new lawn ornament, kind of like a lawn gnome but not quite as colorful. In fact, a lawn gnome wouldn’t be quite as exciting as what I have…a drunk camped out on my street corner. Yep, he sits there all day long, drunk as can be, teetering back and forth on the front stoop calling out unintelligible things at passersby, occasionally throwing things and always slurring. However, having a drunk on the corner has its benefits too, they keep people away. Also, when they are awake and not slumped over in a drunken stupor, they act as a security alarm…yelling and keeping people off my stoop. Toss them a few cordobas, and they have now become a hired watchman, reporting all news and keeping shady people away. The drunk is friendly and not dangerous because his family lives in the corner house and they keep an eye on him, and in turn he keeps an eye out for the entire street. However, he does present a minor problem, when I walk outside of my house I don’t always enjoy walking past him because he’ll try to engage me in a conversation, but with his slurring I just cannot understand a single word he says…to avoid this I trying going to opposite direction down my street, but this presents another problem because when I go the opposite direction I run into the 30 year old bachelor who apparently is my one true love (prince charming, in fact). So I am left with a difficult choice, walk by the desperate bachelor man or walk by the drunken slurring man, 9 out of 10 times I pick the drunk!

Four days ago I went to yet another children’s piñata party. As a gift I brought chica fresa (a small little strawberry shortcake doll) for the birthday girl. I came to the party fashionably late, because I had already eaten dinner and wanted to avoid being fed twice, but it was to no avail, because even though I had come late the hosts still insisted on feeding me! So I ate two dinners that night. The nicas are very gracious hosts and would never let a guest go unfed. Second dinner consisted of rice, with veggies and chicken with a slight BBQ flavor, it was very good. The decapitation of Winnie the Pooh (the piñata) happened earlier in the night and I had missed seeing it because I had arrived late (but just in time for cake). In the corner lay a piece of Winnie’s torso but amazingly his head (although apart from his body) remained unharmed, which presented an opportunity…kids started passing around the giant Winnie piñata head and placing it on top of their own head. As music was blasting from a small portable boom box kids danced, their bodies moving to the beat and the Winnie head staring expressionless into the distance. And then it was my turn…yep, I did it too…I put a Winnie the Pooh piñata head over my head. There are pictures too, but I have made an executive decision to not post them, why, because I am trying to forget this lapse in judgment. There I was sitting in a chair doing a mini dance with a piñata head on! Finally, to culminate the absurdity of this night, I dance to “It’s raining Men” (sans Winnie the Pooh head) and taught the YMCA dance to a cluster of niños (kids).

This is a vendor selling toys at the festival.

Since the month of August (the month I arrived in my site) my counterpart kept talking about her town festival, and how excited she was for me to attend. She even brought out her photo album with pictures of the festival. To my untrained eye the pictures all seemed to be from the same event but I was carefully informed that the pictures were taken several years apart at each different fiestas (apparently the decorations stayed the same from year to year…tradition). Well, in the month of December, I attended the festival and I must report that it was nothing less than extravagant. As always, we left late (just the way things are done, no one is ever on time) and made our way to the festival in the back of a truck. I was sitting in a plastic lawn chair that was positioned precariously in the back of the truck and in my lap sat a 6 year old child. I thought to myself, if we hit one bump, me and the kid are flying over the side…and as a precaution I gripped the side of the truck until my knuckles turned white and my arm ached with pins and needles (like my own super human strength would save us if we crashed). I am happy to report that I did arrive safely to the festival. Since we were so late, I was made to walk awkwardly in front of the entire town to the front, where I was seated and then serenaded by a local band that sat a foot away. Halfway through the celebration fireworks were shot off overhead and instinctively people rose off of their white plastic lawn chairs and placed the chairs upside-down over their heads (protecting themselves from the fiery flames falling onto the crowd from the fireworks being shot off above). Alas, I didn’t immediately put 2 and 2 together and I thought the crowd was taking part in some kind of ritual “The plastic chair over the head dance.” I was 2 seconds away from raising my own plastic chair and taking part in the “ritual” when I was politely informed that because I stood under a tin roof awning there was no need to put a chair over my head….”oh, of course” I said. At the end of the festival my counterpart passed out 1,100 nacatamales served on glass plates (she gave me 2 extra tamales and some ground up pork meat as well). The night ended well, full from nacatamales and fresco I fell asleep on the way home. However, I was seated safely inside the truck this time around!