Chasing Baseballs and Blondes

¿Qué Paso?

Giant mouse creeps me out: I used to visit Disney World almost every summer when I was a kid, since my grandparents conveniently lived just two blocks from every theme park imaginable in Orlando, Florida. This trip to “Never Never Land” can be seen either as a kids ultimate dream, or perhaps nightmare (depending on whether you are frightened by the idea of adults dressing up as giant sized cartoon characters that always smile and never speak a word). For me, it was magical, at least until I hit the age of 12. Last week, I was once again transported into a “dream/nightmare,” because who did I spot in a local Nicaraguan park helping to celebrate Christmas, well it was none other than Mickey and Minnie. The two were standing in front of a winter wonderland backdrop that depicted a cabin surrounded by snow and pine trees, which is a far cry from the tropical heat of Nicaragua. Instead of feeling nostalgic after sighting those two classic characters, I realized that the years have not been very kind to Mickey and Minnie. Minnie looked a little…well…too “mini.” I suspect a 12 or 13 year old boy and girl were convinced to dress in the costumes. Therefore, it draped rather loosely and four stick skinny legs were all that could be seen. The costume itself was a bit frightening; both had giant plastic heads topped with a red Santa hat. I never thought I would be afraid of costumed cartoon characters, but I felt a flash of fear as I sat rocking on a local park bench. As Minnie caught me looking in her direction she gave me a 4 fingered wave. By this point I had had enough of the park and was fearful that the two giant bobble head characters might wander over in my direction. Suppressing the urge to scream and run, I calmly removed myself from the park bench and made an exaggerated circle of avoidance around the devilishly scary characters. I think it goes without saying that I won’t find myself in a theme park anytime soon.

Another party pic from the birthday party I went to:


Running for peanuts: Inspired to run again, I laced up my favorite sneakers and hit the trail. Of course, in a matter of minutes I was joined by 2 little running partners. Lucky for me, their parents own a local peanut field and I was promised peanuts, lots and lots of peanuts. Plus, I was invited to a birthday party! On my way back I picked up another runner, and she wants to join me everyday…I feel like Forest Gump (minus the mental impediment), when he picked up strangers as he ran his was across the continental US.
Soup Nazi strikes again, “no soup for you”: I made a big batch of soup a week ago, and decided I would freeze some of it to save it for when I didn’t feeling like cooking. Yesterday, I didn’t feel like cooking. In preparation, I had let the soup defrost a bit in the fridge, but there was still a fairly large ice chunk left in the soup. So I took out my big soup pot and poured in the soup/ice so that I could warm it up before eating it. About 1 minute into cooking my gas stove flame burnt out. Not wanting to blow up my house, I waited a few minutes before trying to light it up again (sometimes, the flame gets blown out). As I struck a match flames engulfed me and my stove. My eyebrows singed and the scent of burnt feathers wafted through the air. I ran out to my backyard and stuck my head in a barrel of water. My only concern was that now I was faced with the reality of having to draw in “pencil brows” to replace my old eyebrows. Just kidding, in reality, there were no flames at all (don’t worry I didn’t start a fire and my eyebrows didn’t singe). In truth, my gas tank had run out of gas. In the end, I ate soup with ice chunks, mmmm…mmmm…delicious.

Swarms of mosquitoes increase my chance of Dengue fever (“the bone breaker” disease): I went to a river to hang with some friends. It was actually clean swimming water! We arrived and realized that none of us thought to bring mosquito repellant. We were staying at the river for 7 hours, and in the first hour of arrival I had been bitten at least 30 times, it was going to be a long day. Luckily, we found someone who had brought repellent, and I applied it rather liberally all over. We sat watching kids and adults alike, jump from a 5 foot high “cliff” into about 4 feet of water. I was worried that I would have to pull off a Baywatch rescue, but thank goodness we left before anyone drowned.

My landlady (Alba Rosa) and I at our dinner table during the fiesta:


Christmas season is always a time of joy. Plus, it’s the only time of the year when I get to hear the Mariah Carry Christmas song, which in my opinion should receive play time year-round. This year, I did not hear Mariah belting out her usual “ear piercingly high that only a dog can hear them” notes. No I was subjected to “feliz navidad,” but fortunately I also enjoy this classic tune. Here in Nicaragua, Christmas is celebrated by going out to a big Fiesta on the night of the 24th. However, since I was gathered with two other Peace Corps volunteers we decided to play down the party scene and instead opted to stay in. We bought some “Rompope” (eggnog), and turned on the TV to watch It’s a Wonderful Life while playing the classic game of “Monopolio.” I almost won the game, but I went a “little bit” bankrupt before I could seize all and conquer the game. The next day, since we were all deprived of going out on Christmas, we decided to head to the local park to grab a few drinks. “Tona” is the local beer brand here in Nicaragua. However, if you are a real loser you might order the competing beer brand “Victoria Frost,” which is in fact the exact same beer bottled in a fancier bottle. Of the three of us, there were only two “responsible ones,” while the third volunteer lived it up and was catapulted into a stage of flirtation that I have never before witnessed, it can only be explained as a “Victoria Frost” attack. Anyway, after our beers, two of us headed calmly to get dinner. We dragged along the third volunteer. We took our seats in a booth that overlooked the park. After ordering, our “flirtatious” friend sat glaring out the giant windows of the restaurant. He thought he spotted a fellow gringo/blonde walking through the park, and without warning jumped out of his seat to go investigate. The other volunteer and myself stood up, quickly discussed who should chase after Mr. Flirt, and I was selected to wrangle him back. I followed him through the park as he tailed his blonde. About 20 feet into the pursuit he had given up, I took advantage of the moment and convinced him to go back to the restaurant. He kindly obliged, going calmly back to our booth, and I’m sure that he was rather hungry too. Our food arrived quickly, and we ate. Out of nowhere, a bee appeared and stung the other volunteer on the hand. We were in an air conditioned local fast food chain…where did that bee come from? After we were done eating, paying, and recovering from bee stings we decided to walk home. Mr. Flirt still hadn’t recovered from his “Frost” attack. At this point, a person dressed as a giant baseball passed by the window. Mr. Flirt spotted the baseball (which he proceeded to call a volleyball) and once again jumped up out of his seat to chase after the poor guy in an inflatable baseball costume. However, seeing as how I have cat-like reflexes, I was able to stop him before his pursuit turned into a possible giant baseball assault case. We left, and walked back home, keeping a close eye on Mr. Flirt. Finally, we reached the front door of the volunteer’s house, and we were almost in the clear when two girls walked by us, and Mr. Flirt proceeded to call after one girl, “Te amo” (“I love you”). I shoved him through the front door of the house. Two of us ended the night by watching Disney’s Aladdin, while Mr. Flirt ended his night passed out on the floor. Curiously, he somehow ended up with permanent marker all over his arm, which I can neither explain nor deny, but I consider us even due to all the chasing I had to do!