I Have a Machete…and I Don’t Know How to Use it!

I do own a machete. They are very popular here and therefore to fit in I decided I needed one too! Just kidding…I inherited the machete from the volunteer before me and it makes a good wall decoration. It also works well when I need to climb the coconut tree in my backyard to chop down breakfast! Then I use the machete to crack open the coconut too…fresh and delicious! Nicas use machetes to cut their lawns and to cut down various plants. I often see people hacking away at tall grass with their machete…a very tedious process.

At night around 6pm (if it’s not raining) I go for a walk around town. This serves to let people know that I live here, and hopefully I will make a few friends in the process. I simply walk around saying “Adios” to everyone I come across. Instead of saying “Hola” people say “Adios” as a greeting. I haven’t heard anyone say “hola” it’s either “adios,” if you’re passing someone in the street, or “buenas” if you are greeting someone and entering into their home. Therefore, my walks consist of saying “goodbye aka adios” to everyone I meet. However, I am often surprised by how many people know my name as well. I will hear people yell after me “Brrrrrrieee” and I will turn around and talk to them! Unfortunately, I never know the people who know me, but that is quickly ratified as I start up a conversation with them and get their name. I feel like I’m on an episode of Cheers, “where everybody knows your name,” now if only I knew their names as well.

On Tuesday, I started up my exercise routine…running. Running in Nicaragua is virtually unheard of unless you are running from a wild pack of dogs! Of course, I did encounter some wild street dogs (they are unavoidable) but I was able to sneak by them…the ole’ dodge and roll move. My run did go well, early in the morning there is a fog that covers the hills and the volcanoes. As the sun rises the fog burns off but for the beginning of my running adventure it creates an eerie calming effect. However on Tuesday, I was everything but calm as I discovered a scorpion had snuck into my shirt (which I forgot to shake out). Two scorpion bites later I had finally flung the thing out of my shirt…1 Alegra allergy pill later I was feeling muy alegre (translation: very happy/much better)! Also, in the mornings are people riding their bikes into work. I have one man who likes to encourage me to run faster by saying “corriendo, corriendo…más rapido” (running…go faster) and he acts as my coach for several minutes until he speeds-up to go to work at a finca (farm).

This is a picture of the Volcan Cerro Negro, which is the second hill from the right.

One of the co-teachers I am working with has a lot of pre-conceived notions about the United States. The following are all questions I have encountered:

-Why don’t you live with your family…you don’t love them?

-Are there lots of gangs in America…why is it so unsafe?

-Why aren’t you married and why don’t you have children?

-What are your dreams…don’t you dream of having a big family?

-Do all people in America act like the Simpsons? (referring to the cartoon family from Springfield)

-America is violent, right?

-Americans are materialistic and not family oriented, don’t you agree?

-Do people from America have different accents? Can you imitate all the different accents for me? (I cannot and I did not!!)

I blame some of his preconceptions on the fact that MTV and other programs of the same nature are broadcast repeatedly on local Nica television. Everyone in Nicaragua has a television and they seem to watch it religiously (just like in the U.S.). The pre-teens are mostly the ones who watch the translated MTV shows, but it seems that the teacher I am working with has also tuned into the programs. The teacher thinks Americans do not value family, and doesn’t understand why American teenagers leave their families when attending college. In contrast, in Nicaragua the age range for “jóvenes aka teenagers” is 14 to 28. These jóvenes don’t leave their families…they will live with them for a long time…even if they get married. In rare occasions they do move out of their parent’s home but they either move next door or a block away.

The teacher was also concerned with the fact that when Americans come to Nicaragua a lot of them do not eat local food (which usually consists of bread, beans and rice). As I have already dealt with my fare share of stomach ailments I have steered clear of most local food (street vendors) for the last few weeks, unless I know the cook. My new neighbors made a savory meal for me this past weekend which consisted of tortilla, rice, and marinated orange flavored meat. Hands down it was the best meal I have had in Nicaragua to date! The people are very gracious and wonderful hosts…they always want you to sample their food!

By the time Wednesday rolled around, I gave another mini-lecture to the students and then I observed the teacher for the remainder of the class. The topic of the class was “Qué es lectura” or “What is Literature.” I was a baffled by this topic and so were the students. It was a really broad topic for a class discussion. I thought maybe the teacher would narrow down the conversation but it seemed to only get broader. It ended with the teacher encouraging his students to read more…only problem is that there are very few books available to read. Classes are structured with the teacher standing in front of a classroom reading from the one and only book available, while the students copy the information fervently. The teacher used me as an example and asked what book I was reading…of course I pulled out my “emergency bus (got stuck in a river, can’t go in reverse, just stopped working, there is no bus coming) book” and in Spanish explained the basic plot to the students. After the class commenced the teacher noted that I was reading another new book. I explained that I read on the bus and since most of my bus rides are around 3 hours roundtrip I get through quite a few novels. The professor couldn’t get past the fact that I was reading a book on a bus! More questions ensued concerning how I read on the bus without missing my stop. Considering that there is only 1 stop, it is very hard to miss! Still, it is a novelty to see a gringa on a bus reading…oh well I already stick out so maybe I can try to start a new craze…reading on the bus…now if only there were more books available for the people to have access to and read.

The two dogs are my new pets. They live with the family that I´m renting the house from and their names are Escott and Pinky.

Thursday tested my ability to walk in 90 degree desert like conditions. I went to a small community an hour away, taught a class and then watched as 40 students copied their homework assignment from 1 book. Again it is discomforting to see the lack of supplies (especially books). This is where my job comes into place, because with the LEC course we help teach the teachers how to use limited resources to make a class dynamic, interesting and educational. When the class finished around 2pm, I was told that the bus back to my town was not returning and my choices were to wait (and be stranded with no place to sleep) or to walk. I started to walk…it was a 7 mile walk back to a road where I would be able to catch a bus…if I got to the road around 5pm. I also had a heavy backpack full of books, water and food. Luckily a woman named Darling came to my rescue. About 2 miles into my journey, sun blaring and me sweating like I have never sweated before in my life, Darling drove by me stopped and told me to hop in her car. She drove me to the highway…I was saved. I grabbed the first bus to my town and made it back before nightfall.

Finally the end of the week, Friday, and my day started with making tortillas. One of my students is skilled in the art tortilla throwing. I was lucky enough to watch her make tortillas from scratch and then I also learned how to “throw” tortillas. To keep the tortillas from sticking to the skillet, cheese fat is used instead of oil. Also, the tortillas are cooked over a wood burning fire, and the only ingredients used are maíz and water. After the tortilla lesson I went to another student’s house to watch her mother separate fresh milk. I saw how the cream was separated from the milk and then I watched the cheese making process. I participated in making a very popular crumbly and salty cheese, which Nicaraguans eat with tortillas (for breakfast, lunch, and/or dinner). After my morning cooking lessons were finished I walked with the girls to school and taught class! I did encounter some problems during my lesson because it turns out that the school’s drum majors were practicing 10 feet away from my classroom. All I could hear was the beating of the drums, which made it rather difficult for the students to concentrate and for me to be heard. However, it is always noisy in the schools. For example, students at recess are always disrupting classes in session, students play soccer or volleyball in the courtyard while others are in class, fireworks are being shot off for no apparent reason and animals of all sorts can be heard barking, mooing and crowing! All of this noises are nothing compared with the sound of rain on the school’s tin roof. The only time class is halted is if it rains because it makes such a racket that even shouting is futile. After class, I was waiting for my bus to come and I was then approached by a young women and her older brother. I got the usual questions (are you married, do you have kids, how old are you) and I knew the girl was trying to set me up with her brother but luckily I dodged that bullet for this week! My day ended early because my afternoon class was canceled and therefore I was able to go home and make banana pudding from the fresh cream and eggs I was given by my students. I purchased the bananas at the local outdoor market and for $1 (18 cordobas) I bought 28 bananas for my cereal and for my pudding!! For dinner I ate the tortillas along with the fresh cheese. Finally, I enjoyed the pudding I had made earlier in the day for dessert. ¡Muy Rico! (Translation: Very rich…ff ever you are given food just say “muy rico” because it’s a big complement to the chef).

In my backyard I have a giant Rancho for studying and reading under. It is very nice around 12pm, because it is coolest outside and in the shade.